We must understand common types of parental behaviors to comprehend the qualities of a good parent. We cannot be typical and flat like cartoon characters, but we can infer a lot of tips by learning about those known categories. I believe this will be a good parenting essay.
Because most of the people had parents, they learn many parental behaviors from them. This ‘a chicken and egg situation’ is similar to the teachers’ deadlock. Almost everyone has ideas about the ethics of teachers because they’ve seen teachers when they were students. Their unprofessional and sometimes even irrelevant thoughts affect actual teacher behaviors because they are parents, and they have rights. Unfortunately, for most of the cases, teachers, too, saw older teachers. Therefore, there is almost no one to trust but science. Because of our nature, we imitate behaviors. It is a grave concern that parents and teachers have difficulties in adapting the new realities of our current world.
To get –at least partly– rid of these dilemmas, youngest parents should see scientific facts. Only then will they have a chance to separate good traditions from the bad. I’m not sure if it’s too late for older parents.
Bringing up a child ready for changing life conditions is harder than many of the jobs. The problem is, only a few people take parenting seriously, but almost all of the people must take responsibility soberly. Sometimes, one of the parents decides to stay at home for parenting. That’s good if he/she supports that decision with other good choices. Let’s start by accepting a vital tip. There will never be an actual thing named ‘the best style of parenting.’ Therefore, mothers and fathers should constantly learn better things. Let’s see some known parenting styles with their positives and mistakes. Then, we can understand the qualities of a good parent eventually.
Authoritarian Type of Parenting
This sort of parent believes that they have nothing to learn from their kids. They set some rules with their life experience and didn’t even question those themselves. The other opinions and facts are not essential for them to, mainly if those thoughts belong to kids.
If you are one of those (which is not quite possible because you wouldn’t read this), you have strict rules and punishments. You believe punishment or simple gifts are valid things to teach life. That approach is the traditional-behavioristic approach. That is not entirely wrong and useless, but you mustn’t be strict with that strategy. Let’s talk about otherwise. In the end, you’ll have raised a loser. That kid will live under your shadow, and if nothing miraculous happens, he/she will cast his/her own shadow to their kids or will give up caring.
Authoritative Type of Parenting
It is also called positive parenting. Developing a relationship similar to friendship is a sign of authoritative parenting. The similarity of the name with the previous type is ironic. Positive-authoritative parents teach and explain their rules. They also try to reflections on their decisions and care about the feelings of kids. However, they make sure that kids will know the parent is the boss. If you feel like one of these types of parents, you’ll have more positive results with your children. Your kid(s) will probably be more civilized and self-confident. Still, you should know that they’ll be severely dependant if you hold on to being a type rather than being yourself.
If the parents are too relax to take rules seriously, academicians mainly call them permissive parents. They set standards but don’t obey those rules. Similarly, there are no consequences for most of the bad behaviors of kids.
It’s hard for children with this type of parents to perceive life. They’ll most probably miss out. So, being the right person or successful will be almost impossible for them.
Uninvolved Parenting Style
Worse than permissive parents, they won’t even set rules. It’s not hard to predict the consequences will be negative. Of course, children can find a way somehow. Actually, it would be better than the previous three types of parenting.
There was nothing like this, and I made it up. Life and our children are too dear to risk them by trying the previous four types of parenting styles. Therefore, teachers and parents must know about universal rights and mistakes. If they are creative, educated, and bright enough, they’ll synthesize common truths and learn from common mistakes.
One of the most important qualities of a good parent is knowledge through the right things to do. It seems like the right things are:
- listening to children
- trying to understand their emotions and current perception of life
- teaching important things like cause & effect, behaviors & consequences, opinions &facts, ideas & realities, power of good habits, destruction of bad habits, the importance of languages & communication, etc. (common 21st-century skills and more)
- motivation about getting self-motivation for something they want to achieve
- encouraging about the possibilities and skills
- teaching them to learn from mistakes and achievements
- expressing the importance of self-criticism
- making sure children understand the importance of valuing things appropriately.
All of the tips above are not easy, but nobody told you that parenting would be easy. If you try some known parenting styles or if you decide to be a parent like anything, you’ll fail. If possible, be a suitable type of yourself and value your kids because they are not a part of you or version-two of you or some others’ must-shape material; they are new individuals, and parents must accept it. More importantly, for instance, Tommy should be a good Tommy, not a good ‘parent Tommy.’
The essence is perception. If someone manages to be truly themselves as a parent, that person will be a chance for his/her children and our society. So, the qualities of a good parent depend.