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Nobody is getting married to divorce with kids in their minds. Or do they? Maybe it’s your partner or you. Or maybe, things you believe have changed on the route. Anyways, getting divorced is harder than getting married, especially if you have kids. The most important thing is not to make it something like a war with your partner. I know it is certainly harder than just typing here. So, let’s get through some things to make it a little better than brainstorming. Before or after you read this, I want you to write some tips or advice for someone you don’t know very well. Imagine someone; you believe that this person is fair. Then, write useful tips for him/her that would help while getting divorced. Write such awesome things that can be very helpful for a long time, and those will be beneficial until their kids turn grown-ups.
Explaining your divorce to kids
Many people can’t figure out how to tell it to children when they decide to divorce. How will things go on?
The way to explain divorce to kids depends on the number of children and, of course, their age. Young kids and toddlers won’t understand the term divorce. For them, seeing mama and dad love them is enough. They just need some reminders of love and safety within a week. In most of the cases, people actually won’t need to say anything about it. It’s harder without a mum.
On the other hand, I don’t like to say that but dad can turn into someone kids see at the weekend with leisure activities. So, idea one could be smoothly changing the habits of contacting. That’s why I first said it should not be something like a battle. I underline that divorcing couples should behave civilized. Then, even if the kid misses a lot, you could use someday charts to show them when they’ll see and spend time with the one partner.
Preschool kids are the hardest to deal with. They’ll ask heartbreaking questions, and you should have prepared answers to them. You mustn’t get angry with their questions about the missing partner. You don’t have to explain in details. Because their minds can not comprehend the circumstances, they cause a lot more issues than they actually had. So, be brief and take your friendly behavior for preschool kids. On the grounds, the human brain perceives things not just verbally. In other words, even if you give the best news, part of their brain will check the impressions and tune. That’s scientifically proven that the subconscious part is more prominent and a lot more effective in a lifetime.
School kids will understand better. In that case, you should keep an eye on kids not to let them take advantages of the situation. They can abuse permissions, prone parents, and you wouldn’t stand it if they can do it. Consequences might be severe if you let them harm it. So, communication is the key here. Both of the parents must know where the kid is and how much money they have this week.
Do not repeat common mistakes, at least
We talked about writing some tips as if you’re writing for a decent stranger. Again, write down things to avoid as well.
Throwing guilt to your partner near your child won’t help. Moreover, they shouldn’t even hear these discussions and the source of the problem. As I said before, they don’t have to know the details until they turn at least fourteen. Your time with your children is not a trial, and they are not the judges calling you or your partner guilty or not guilty.
You must be able to serve a better life after a divorce. It’s crucial for you, too. In the first place, divorcing must be the only and the best way to keep on living. Otherwise, you had to reconsider already. Now that you decided to divorce, things should grow better. More than healing, there should be lifts to a better life. Please note, serving a better experience is not buying thousands of toys or eating burgers every day. Likewise, none of the parents should abuse restricted incentives to look more friendly to the children. Again, that’s not a battle or trial or blame throwing game.
You mustn’t be obsessed with the idea of this divorce thing. The whole life of an individual, especially the kid, shouldn’t be all about that divorce. Unfortunately, many parents use the divorce thing as an excuse when teachers and admins of school try to communicate with them. Only let them know once if it is required and continue doing your part.
Knowing the financial power is essential, many women try to earn more. That’s correct if the time spent is moderated. However, leaving the kids alone for never-ending business won’t be a good idea. If possible, the extra things you do should be at home. Try to make money without leaving home. I know it’s not easy to find but give it a brainstorming, at least.
Consult professionals before and after you divorce
Have kids or don’t, it’s always a good idea to trust professionals. It’s okay if you feel like you can deal with all these things. Sometimes you might miss some essentials or won’t have time. Even if you have plenty of time thinking on these, professionals will help you realize your powers. Psychologists, if they are reasonable, will show you the answers that you have. Of course, no one will help you better than you do. Still, some good, wise friends and psychologists might give a hand as you organize things in your mind.
You’ll find some creative ideas that will work best for you. Never underestimate your creative ideas but keep them open to discussion with the people you trust. They’ll sometimes criticize, sometimes improvise your plans. You, with your community, have the power to be able to find the best way to divorce with kids.